In Good Hands…

Sketch of my dad on hospital bed

My dad passed on to be with the Lord on 21 Jan 2012. It’s a day before Chinese New Year Eve. He was admitted about 3.5 weeks ago and has been bed ridden since. I was sad to see him go but it was also good he went peacefully in his sleep, without paint and discomfort, and most important of all, without fear. The day he went, a super big rainbow appeared across the sky. According to many other witnesses, it was a complete one and was visible across different parts of the island. We saw it immediately as we drove out of the mortuary. My sis saw it too leading the way of her car and the hearse. We were all very comforted by how much God has shown his grace and love towards us.

It has been only 2 weeks plus since dad passed on. I placed his photo on my shelf but did not let the photo face towards my direction as I have not gotten over the grief completely. I still find it difficult to accept the loss. It feels weird to have someone who have been so healthy and strong and has been an important part of my life for so long to be gone. I know he is now in a better place and in good hands but down on earth, my life has changed. I couldn’t wipe those visuals away. In my mind, his last days in the hospital is still fresh, and whenever those images appeared, my heart would sink.

Those last days were painful especially when I was cleaning him up with my wife’s help. I was glad I could do the last bits for him while he was awake to show we love him and wouldn’t abandon him in his predicament, but on the other hand, there was that uncertainty whether it would be the last time we could do this for him. I really miss him. Though there were times we were in disagreement, I respected him for what he was; respectable, strong, persevering, a responsible & loving father. When I fell sick as a child he would constantly come by to check on my temperature every 2-3 hours to make sure I am okay. He bought me a very expensive book when I was 14, my first cartooning book. We would also take a bus together to check out the journey and where it would end. He would accompany me on the bus to the camp when I book in during my BMT.

I still miss him. :_(

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